Even when I am on break, I spend a lot of time thinking about grad school. It seeps under my skin, I dream about it, etc., but, as of last night, it is officially causing nightmares.
Although my dream had to do with being a student instead of being a teacher, I am sure the teaching and grading nightmares will start soon enough, so, I thought this meme was appropriate.
In my nightmare, it was time for me present/defend my thesis, however, I had decided to go about my thesis in an entirely unconventional way. I decided to skip out having a chair and readers for my thesis (I don’t think I am actually allowed to skip this step) and had decided to go at it alone. I did very little research and sub par work. It was terrible.
For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to invite my parents to watch me defend my thesis. In the room was just my parents and my favorite professor (the same one from this dream) and I could only really talk about my research for 30 seconds. My professor proceeded to tell me how disappointed she was in me and that she was giving my thesis a B- (almost a failing grade in grad school) and I would not be finishing grad school unless I worked harder on it.
It was more upsetting to me that I had disappointed some of my favorite people than that I had done bad on my thesis.
Of course the straight-A, paranoid grad student would have a nightmare about nearly flunking out of grad school and disappointing everyone.
Now, I just have to sit back and wait for the teaching and grading nightmares to begin. Those will actually have some reasoning to them, I’m sure. I am much more afraid of having terrible students than I am about not finishing my thesis.