The first week is officially “over” but I am now remembering (although, how did I ever forget) that it is never “over when you are a grad student. The ball just keeps on rolling. Especially for people who are a bit obsessive like me.
When people ask me what I do for fun, I usually look at them with a confused look. School is fun. School is my life. It has gotten to the point where I get my house key and my office key mixed up.
Apparently, when I am not there, that confuses people.
Thursdays are my “late” days and this past Thursday I didn’t get to campus until 1:00. I am typically there around 7:00 AM especially MWF when I teach at 8. Don’t be fooled – this does not make it a short day, I am still on campus until 8:00 PM with a ten minute break to get to class between 3-8. It’s still technically an early night for me though – Some of my classes go until 9:00 PM. So, this Thursday, when I headed up to my office I ran into a classmate who told me he had been looking for me. When I told him that i just got to campus, he gave me a shocked look and joked “Just now? Don’t you live here?” Ya, I know that is my reputation.
That was also sign one that I spend too much time on campus.
I made it through Thursday with less coffee than I thought I would (though shout out to my classmate who brought me coffee. She’s the best!). I got out of my night class early and headed home, prepped for the next day, read a little bit for my classes, made some flashcards for linguistics, watched an episode or two of “Friends,” and went to sleep.
The next morning, I got to campus around 7:00 since I had to teach at 8:00 and I like to be awake, caffeinated, and prepared for class. (Side note – the campus bookstore used to open at 7:00 and now they don’t open until 7:30… I’m kind of mad about it since that is where I usually get coffee). My office is in the same building as my class, so, I headed to my class around 7:50. I ran into the professor whose class I had the night before. He was just getting there and he seemed surprised that I was there so early (although his office is right across from mine and I am certain he has seen me there that early before). Still, he said “Wow, you have a rough schedule.” To which I replied, “It’s not that bad” while thinking but inside I am crying ALL the time.
Definitely another sign that I spend too much time on campus.
So a classmate tells me they are shocked I am not there and then a professor tells me they are shocked that I am. I feel like both of those fall into the category of “fail.”
I constantly go back and forth between feeling like I do way too much and feeling like I don’t do enough.
Also, this was my first week of grad school without one of my favorite professors (the one who was in my nightmare a few weeks ago). It wasn’t until Friday that I realized how much I missed her. I had a problem with a student and I knew that there were a ton of people I could talk to, but I really wanted to talk with her. Then, to make things worse, a song on my Spotify playlist was titled with her last name and it made me miss her even more.
It’s only been one week, but I feel like I am in for a rough semester.