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Monday Morning Fails

It’s only an hour into my work/school day and I’ve only been up for three hours. If you think that means nothing could have possibly gone wrong yet, you would be mistaken. I’m that awesome.

It started when I first woke up. The nights before I teach/work/do something important, I typically plan outfits that I am going to wear. Since today is President’s Day (and campus was still open meaning I have to work/teach), I had planned an all-black outfit in protest of our current president. When I put it on this morning, there was a giant, noticeable stain on the front of the shirt I’d picked out, so, I quickly had to change my outfit in order to look appropriate for work.

Then, when it came time to leave my house, I put my rain boots on. Unfortunately, they weren’t completely dried out from the storm on Saturday (they are fur lined and I’d accidentally stepped in a puddle that splashed into my boot). So, basically, I put on wet rain boots, even though I had left them in an area where they should have been able to dry quickly. . .

In between leaving my house and getting to work, there was my usual awkward conversation of buying coffee before I am coherent enough to have appropriate responses when ordering coffee. Typically the exchange goes something like this:

“I’d like a coffee.”

“What size?”

“Um. . .” Why is this so hard?!?

“How about a medium?”

“Okay.”

“Roast preference?”

“Hot.”

“Light? Medium? Dark? Flavored?”

“Um, black.”

It keeps going. Basically, I shouldn’t order coffee until I’ve had some coffee, but I can’t teach without the coffee and I love getting to the coffee shop early and lesson planning for the day before I get to work. It has become part of my morning routine.

So, I got to my class with my 24 ounce coffee (I was coherent enough to spit out that I needed an extra super large coffee today) and went to start the computer up. In the process, I spilled coffee all over the front podium, which I did promptly announce to my students. They were dead to the world today and did not want to even make small talk about how their weekends were. Is Presidents Day weekend a big weekend for partying and am I just too old to remember that?

Then, after class, I was talking with a classmate and he asked about a student I had had last semester. It took me forever to remember that, yes, I did have a student with that name. It took me a good minute or two to remember, which was really sad because this particular student was one of my favorites last semester.

During the same conversation, I dropped my phone. It just went skidding across the floor.

So, it’s already been been an epic start to the week. Epic.

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