Yesterday, I had a linguistics quiz and it was something I was super nervous for because linguistics is just far enough out of my wheelhouse that some things just don’t make sense. I studied for a long time, read the article at least 3 times, made a bunch of flashcards, etc., in hopes of gaining a better understanding of it. The parts I understood of it were not the parts I was tested on. And you know what? It’s difficult stuff and I know that I missed at least 3 points, which means I would get 70 at the highest. But I’m OK with that. I worked really, really hard, and I just did not get it. I can still get an A in the class (let’s just hope there are no more quizzes on hard articles) and life will go on.
The hardest part about all of this is other people. I do brag about my 4.0 a bit sometimes, but it is a hard earned 4.0 and I don’t think people give me credit for how hard I work. People brush it off as a way of thinking school is easy for me. Maybe it helps that I am studying things that I like and generally tend to have a good grasp on what I am studying, but those things are usually in my wheelhouse. Linguistics is not one of those things (Seriously, I could have done better on a quiz about Lacan).
My nervousness about this test was met with other people saying “Oh, you’ll be fine. You’ll get an A.” Someone said “You’ll get at least a 96%” and when I reiterated it was hard, it was countered with, “So what? Like a 94%?” Seriously?!? Can’t you accept I’m fallible? Not only that, but can’t you acknowledge that I work really hard and it doesn’t come easy to me like I may make it seem?
I demand a lot of myself, but trying my hardest always comes first. Unfortunately, I think it has come off to others as I demand perfection for myself and now they do the same.
So, if you are in the same boat, working hard and not getting the recognition, I’m here to tell you that:
- It’s OK to be fallible. We will all struggle and we will all have moments of failure.
- Be happy with the work and the effort you put into a thing, even if it’s not the result that you want.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
- Don’t be afraid of failure.
- Just do the next right thing.
- Be proud of yourself.
And, to everyone out there, good luck with your next challenge. You’ve got this.